Best euphemisms for sex and genitals?

After lots and lots time consuming research here is a good compiled list.

Mens Gentials

Angry Samoan 

Anteater (foreskinned penis) 

Arrow 

A ss plower 

A ss pounder 

A ss ripper 

Badajo (Spanish) 

Baloney 

Banana/Platano (Spanish) 

Beaver buster 

Beaver cleaver 

Beef bayonet 

Beer can (penis with large girth) 

Bell 

Bethany M 

Bicho (Spanish) 

Bicycle 

Big Ben 

Bipper 

Bird 

Bishop 

Bishop in a turtleneck (uncircumcised penis) 

Blinky (My Fellow Americans) 

Blue-veined microphone 

Blue-veined throbber 

Bone 

Boner 

Boy's best friend 

Boycock 

Boyhood 

Boypleaser 

Boypole 

Boystick 

Bratwurst (Die Mommy Die Reference) 

Butoh

Cabbage roll 

Captain, the 

Captain Picard 

Caralho (Portuguese) 

Carne (Spanish, Italian: meat) 

Cazzo (Italian) 

Center pole 

Cervix slammer (long penis) 

Cigala (Del CATALA) 

Chilichute 

Chinchin (Japanese) 

Chinko (Japanese) 

Chinpo (Japanese) 

Choad/Chode (penis; sometimes defined as a penis with width greater than length) 

Chorra (Spanish) 

Chromosome snake 

Cipote (Spanish) 

Clit tickler 

Clyde 

C ock 

C ock rocket 

Colonel 

Crank 

Cumgun 

Cumpole 

Cumrod 

Cumshooter 

Cumstick 

C unt buster 

C unt poker 

C unt pounder 

C unt ripper 

C unt thumper 

Cyclops

Denture cleaner 

Devirginator 

Diamond Cutter 

D ick 

Ding-a-ling 

Ding-dong 

Dingus 

Dink 

Dipstick 

Dirty pillows 

Dolk (Danish, actually means "knife") 

Dong/Donger 

Donkeycock/Donkeydick (very large penis) 

Doodle-dandy (from m asturbation) 

Doomhammer 

Dork 

Drill/Driller 

Dusty Gazongas 

Egg roll 

Eiffel Tower 

Endowment 

Engine clanker 

Equipment 

Erection

Fatboy Slim 

Father Christmas 

First Penis, The (The US President's) 

Fireman 

Flagpole 

F uck stick 

F ucker 

Fur-seeking meat missile 

Gherkin 

Giggle stick 

God 

Goober 

Guy's best friend 

Ham trucheon 

Happiness 

Haussenfeffer (German) 

Heat-seeking missile/Heat Seeking Moisture Missile 

Herman the German in a turtleneck 

Hog/Hawg 

Hoo hoo dilly (South Park reference) 

Horsecock/Horsedick (very large penis) 

Hose 

Impregnator

Jack the Ripper 

Jade phoenix 

Ji ba (Mandarin) 

Jimmer jammer 

Jimmy 

J izz cannon 

Jizzer 

John Thomas (term first used in Lady Chatterley's Lover) 

Johnson 

Jonathan's one-eyed master 

Joystick 

Junk 

Kickstand 

Kidney sweeper 

Knob 

Kutas (Polish)

Lad (Irish) 

Lanze (German) 

Lap bone 

Lap taffy 

Leaning Tower of Pisa 

Leg wand 

Lingum or lingam (from Hindu) 

Little Willy 

Lizard 

Log 

Lollipop 

Longfellow 

Love club 

Love loaf 

Love length 

Love missile 

Love muscle 

Love Pump 

Love Sausage 

Love snake 

Love stick 

Love wand 

LUEshi 

Luncheon Meat Truncheon

Magic dragon (in reference to the charactor "Elliott" in Pete's Dragon) 

Magic stick 

Magic wand 

Main cable 

Main vein 

Manhood 

Manmeat 

Manrod 

Manroot 

Mantower 

Martillo (Spanish: Hammer) 

Meat 

Meat popsicle 

Meat thermometer 

Meat whistle 

Meat Loaf

Megg's best friend 

Member (Spanish: Miembro) 

Mickey (chiefly Irish) 

Micro Mikey 

Middle leg (large penis) 

Minchia (Italian) 

Mini-Me 

Minga (Spanish) 

Missile 

Monster 

Mr. Happy

Needle 

(Japanese) 

Old fella/Old feller/Old fellow 

One-eyed monster/sitting on a beanbag chair 

One-eyed snake 

One-eyed trouser snake 

One-eyed trouser trout 

Organ 

Oscar ("My Baloney has a first name...")

Panga (Latin American Spanish) 

Passion pole 

Pecker 

Pedro/Peter 

Pee-pee 

Pee-puette 

Pee-wee 

Pelir 

Pen 

Pencil 

Pencildick 

Percy 

Phallus 

Phantom Lord of Ultimate Darkness 

Piça (Portuguese) 

Picha (Portuguese) 

Pickle 

Pickledick (High School High reference) 

Piço (Portuguese) 

Pija (Spanish) 

Pijo (Spanish) 

Pimmel (German) 

Pinga (Spanish) 

Pink torpedo (Spinal Tap reference) 

Pipe 

Piperoll (movie "She's Gotta Have It") 

Plank 

Playboy 

Pleasure pole 

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