I am getting married soon and am just curious what you all think.
For us, it has been work. Lots and lots and lots of hard work.
When we got married, I had an idea of what a wife should do, be like, etc. And, I expected her to be this person and our marriage to be a certain way. So, after working at it for a year (and fighting constantly), I slowly realized that she is who she is and my expectations were wrong. (She had to realize the same things about me.) This is when we learned we have to work at communicating with each other and with ourselves. (You will have to learn who you truly are as well as who your mate truly is.)
We have been together almost 12 years now; she is my soul mate and we are very happy. But, the communication and understanding that are needed are work.
Every few months, life will throw a new set of challenges at us and we will have to work at communicating well, understanding things 100% from the other persons point of view, not having emotional reactions to things without asking "Did you mean that way I heard it?" Then, once we have communicated and are in synch with each other, we can tackle the challenges of life together.
Marriage is not 50/50. It is 100%/100%, and often you have to give your 100% first. But, being able to become someone's soul mate and their true love is an amazing blessing. Just keep in mind that sometimes you have to give your 100% first and that is work.
Being truly in love when you get married is a great place to start growing your life long love together. But, you have to work to grow life long love.
Plus, please remember to "actively love". Don't just love someone and feel that is enough. You have to pay attention to this person you are marrying, and learn what stresses them out, makes them happy, what they are great at, how best to be supportive, and which of the family roles that mentally and emotionally hate but that you could do (I do the dishes, because she would rather be beat with a stick than wash another person's dishes.). In other words, you have to learn who this person really is and how you can help make their life happier. Ask yourself, "What can I DO, to make my mates life easier, happier, better, etc." "Active love", which is paying attention to your mate and then doing things you can to improve their life, is also part of true love.
Forgive the long answer. This is just the things we have learned in our 12 years together. Every relationship is unique.