My wife frequently gets irritated with me because I baby our dog, and says I'm sweeter to the dog than her. She loves the dog too, but I give her much more attention than my wife does.
The dog is happy to see me when I walk through the door everyday no matter what's going on - even when I'm in a lousy mood. She (dog) doesn't get defensive, she just wants to play and get some love (don't be sick with that one). Not so much with my spouse - most days it's a semi-b!+ch session about her day that greets me. So yeah, some days it is nicer to come home to the dog who does not really want anything from me than the rest of the family who attack me with request (kids are guilty too, asking for allowance or french fries etc). I've explained this to my wife as nicely as I can muster (OK somewhat sarcastically) but just get the stare. I've also tried being as sweet to everybody else as I am to the dog when I walk through the door, but the responses to me haven't changed. Pretty common?
1st of all, I think it's extremely common. Look, it's much easier to relate to a dog that's always happy to see you and doesn't want anything more from you than a pat on the head and a few rubs. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, people aren't that simple.
Life these days is very hard. Everyone has a million things going on and we've all grown more disconnected with one another as a result, so when you take that as your starting point and add to it a wife, kids, dog, mortgage, etc., it's easy to see how when you've got that many balls in the air one or more are going to fall on the floor if you're not careful (and probably even if you are).
Good, bad or indifferent, this isn't the 50s where the guy works and the wife stays at home and takes care of the kids, so the balancing act is a lot trickier these days but it's not impossible.
- Everybody needs to feel respected and acknowledged. Try to agree with your wife that whoever gets home 1st will find their other half and greet them warmly. Physical contact that promotes connectedness is important.
- After the warm greeting, now your wife gets 20 mins (on average) to tell you about her day and you get the same. It seems it's easier for men to leave work at the office whereas many women feel the need to talk about work when they get home. Having a limit though will prevent it from infringing upon family activities.
- Move on to family activities. Try to limit the TV. Eat dinner at the table together. Talk to your kids about their day. Have fun but have fun together in a way that promotes connectedness as opposed to watching TV or doing your own thing, which promotes the opposite.
- Cut out the sarcasm. It's only going to make things worse.
I don't think you playing with the dog is the problem. Love your dog but just don't do it to the detriment of your family. Balance is the key to happiness.