I Love Cheese,
Cheese is good,
It tastes cheesey,
It smells like cheese,
It feels like egg plant,
It looks kind of cheesey,
I used to eat lots of cheese in my bomb shelter,
Of course there was never a bomb,
Come to think of it there wasn't even hair,
But I used to pretend there was though,
I had some pretty lonely nights in that bomb
shelter,
Nights where all there was to do was pretend there
was hair on the cheese,
While I ate my hairy cheese the bird feeders would
talk to me,
They would tell me how their day was,
And how they felt used,
Birds would just come and go as they pleased eating
freely the gift of cheese,
I think we all do that,
We just take the hairy cheese with no regard for
where it came from,
Some poor antelope had to give it's life so that we
could have cheese,
Ah,
Theres nothing quite like the refreshing flavor of
newly harvested Hairy Antelope cheese,
You kids today just don't know the value of Hairy
Antelope Cheese,
Back in my day we didn't take for granted Hairy
Antelope Cheese,
We had to walk 10 miles in the snow backwards both
ways up hill with our eyes closed
And our legs tied behind our back,
Then If we were really good we'd get to lick the
plates after our parents ate the cheese,
But my parents didn't like the Hair,
So we would have to shave the cheese before they
ate it,
We were allowed to eat the hair though,
It wasn't too bad with Ketchup,
Its just difficult to think about the poor tomato
that had to die,
I'm constantly reminded of the cousin of the
tomato; the potato,
The Potato comes from Idaho,
I spent some time there when my happy boat was
stationed there in the Marine Corp,
It was there on the happy boat that I was First
introduced to Hairy Antelope Cheese,
I also met my best friend there,
His name was Limberger,
He smelled funny, but he was a good friend,
He introduced to the Chaplin,
His name was Swiss,
He was very Holey,
He introduced me to Jack,
He was from Monterey,
After Idaho I was transfered to Australia,
It was there that I was introduced to Hairy Wallaby
Cheese,
It kind of tasted like Chicken,
Only more hairy,
And with a lot more Pimples,
Pimples are kind of cheesey,
But of course so are aardvarks,
During a safari in Australia,
A wild Aardvark jumped out of the brush and
attached himself to my face,
Sadly enough I was forced to beat the young
Aardvark to death with his own shoe,
I love shoes,
They're pretty good with salt,
Salt is otherwise known as NaCl (Sodium Chloride),
I learned that from Col. Sanders,
He likes chicken too,
He conned me into losing what was suppose to be a
"Friendly" game of Candyland,
On three seprate occasions,
The stakes were high on those games,
If I won I would be enlightened to exactly what the
11 herbs & spices really were,
If he won,
He would get my full supply of Hairy Antelope
Cheese,
But he conned me,
So I had to beat him to death with a drum stick,
So I never learned the 11 herbs & spices,
And I got to keep My Hairy Antelope Cheese,
I love cheese!