There are times when I don't like the way I approach a problem. I tend to always think the same thing about everything, and lately have noticed it's the same way my father thinks. Growing up I hated it. I still do. So why is it that I'm starting to think like him. I need to stop. If you met my father you wouldn't like the way he approaches situations either.
Good question; I had a similar experience with my mother. I love her dearly but I have real problems with the way she deals with & reacts to some things. So, here's what I did, maybe it will help you:
First, when you encounter something & catch yourself thinking or reacting like your father, make yourself stop & analyze the issue. Do you REALLY feel that way or is it a knee-jerk reaction? If the latter, take a moment & "re-wire" your response to the situation, creating your own reaction. It takes time to get past the quick reactions that you've always known. It has taken me years & sometimes it takes me longer to react to something, however, I know always know that I am promoting my own reaction & not the one I grew up with.
Another thing I've done is, when faced with a situation, I consciously think of how my mother would handle it & decide on my own reaction from that point. For instance, if the situation is something that she would normally react to both quickly & badly, I consider that & then also consider if I agree with it. Both options described do not take as long as one might think & come more quickly over time. Both have also helped me to find & assert my individuality in a world where I look & sound exactly like my mother.
The biggest part of the issue is determining the areas where your opinions & thoughts differ from your parent. Additionally, you have to be strong enough to stand by those opinions if questioned. In this manner, I've always found outright honesty to be my best friend. My mother may not always like what I have to say when she disagrees with the way I've reacted to or handled a situation but she certainly can't say that I haven't thought about my response & not been completely honest about it. In truth, it has strengthened our relationship.
One thing I can leave you with: There is no better compliment in this world than to have a parent say to their adult child; "I wish I could be more like you..."