Slow and steady DOES win this race!!! I lost 10-15kg about 6yrs ago and went from a 16 to a 8/10 (Aussie sizes) I'm now a 12 and am still very happy!
You sound like you are more than ready to begin this change - you certainly have the desire to do it! Starting is by far the hardest part of the weight loss process. Once you get healthy habits going, it's surprisingly easy to maintain them. You need to find a way to give yourself that initial push or get someone to help you do it.
I suggest you set a date to start your new healthy lifestyle - say to yourself "I am going to change my life and I am going to begin today. I will not look back because this is something I am doing to better myself."
Consider consulting a nutritionist - they'll be able to help you understand why you binge eat and create healthy eating habits as well as eating plans. I suggest you also consult your regular GP and find out the state of your health - blood pressure etc. You don't want to push yourself too far too fast because that will most likely make you lose your motivation.
You have to accept that you are going to have to be selfish to a degree, because you will not be able to achieve your goal unless you take time out for yourself. Ask your family and friends to support you by encouraging you and being conscious of their own habits when they're around you. The more supportive, and healthy influences you surround yourself with, the more chance you have of succeeding.
If you're not used to exercising, you'd be best to start with gentle exercises, because the going from 0 to 100 will make you hurt and the more you hurt, the less you want to exercise and as a result, you lose your motivation.
Don't expect things to happen overnight, and don't bother with fad diets that promise a quick fix - your body registers dieting as "starvation" and hangs onto your body fat.
Keep things interesting for yourself. If you find yourself growing bored with your chosen exercise regime, try taking it up a notch, or else try something new. If you join a gym, try to find one that gives free consultations with trainers every so often. If not, make sure you join one that has plenty of staff around who can help you use the machinery and advise you on how things work, and what weights and speeds you should be using etc. If you're nervous about embarrassing yourself, don't be! Look around at different gyms, there are a heap of ones that aren't filled with people pumping iron and are quieter and less imposing for beginners. If your finances can run to it, try to organize a session with one of the gym's personal trainers once a month or so - that way you can get a proper, personalized evaluation and find out if you should be changing your exercise routine.
If you can't run to a gym membership, the try walking - set yourself a goal to reach, I used to go to video store at the top of the main road. It only took me ten minutes to walk there, but I slowly increased that to include the streets surrounding it.
When you go out, try to get a particular friend to keep an eye on you and help keep you from straying. However, don't forget to treat yourself every so often. I find that if I deny myself a treat for too long, I end up binging, which destroys all the good work I've done!
Also, try not to eat before you go to sleep - I believe 2hrs is the minimum recommended gap. And don't forget the mental component to losing weight - the mind plays a big part. Don't eat in front of the TV or computer - it distracts your mind from the process of eating. Eat slowly - it helps your body feel fuller - 15-20min is the recommended minimum. And try to prepare your own meals, your sense of smell plays a big part in your enjoyment of food - it's a preliminary stage to eating, so it prepares your mind.