I was divorced 6mo ago, I left Him. I loved Him too much to see Him unhappy.
We have 2 kids together and I am still completely in love with my ex!
I want Him back but am afraid to pray for our restoration in case the Lord was to give me what I want, and it not be what is good for me.
The Bible says God will give you your hearts desires...?
I have been in this same situation.
This is not advice, but how it transpired for me.
My ex-wife was not good for myself and my two sons.
I left her.
I had those same exact thoughts and dilemma on what to pray for. Take her back and get the good and the really bad. Or go solo with two young children and deal with loneliness and single parent struggles.
What I realized was that my ex-wife was not doing what I believe was the will of GOD. And that was to take care of us and do what was pleasing to GOD. So I opted to take the less traveled road and not go back. 14 years have passed since then.
I still have my sons. I have my second wife now going on 12 years. I have an adopted daughter who is almost 4. My life is tremendously better than it was back then.
Why? I found a person who REALLY loved my sons and myself unconditionally.
Also, she was a real living example of a Christian. By the way, her first husband ditched her after she sent him through numerous colleges.
Funny how GOD works. Sometimes your answers will come in the most unusual ways. GOD gives insight and wisdom to get you through. Take Care of yourself. You will do what is right. Just remember, there can be great gain by experiencing loss.
Also, I am not an advocate of divorce.
However, it is necessary for the welfare of the children and yourself if your spouse hardens their heart with no recourse after much prayer and pleading.