I'm a single parent of five children.4 of which live with me ,and one who lives across the way. Their ages range from 12-20.I have 1 year clean and extremely overwhelmed. I attend college,5x a week.9-4pm.I'm not good with consistency and am having trouble teaching my children how important it is to be responsible. Especially for themselves. It's very hard for me to concentrate on clearing the wreckage from my past when I'm bouncing around from School, NA support groups, Probation, Court, Dr.appt, Psycologist. I feel like I'm drowning and my kids are watching me go under. If you would be so kind to give me some feedback, I would feel like someone is on my side. Thanks for listening.
First, let me congratulate you on keeping clean for so long, that's a hard task after dependence when your life is so overwhelming to you. Good job! Second, let me commend you on keeping up to this point with the wreckage that is the past and getting your education going while living with teenagers! Not an easy or enviable task.
You should be very proud of yourself for coming this far and getting things on the right track. As hard as it may be your are doing great things for yourself and your children and both you and your kids should be very proud. Its tough for anyone to teach their children to be responsible, even tough to maintain responsibility ourselves, and we are the best lesson our kids have. It sounds like the kids are all old enough to helping out around the house. I think good hard work is one of the greatest things my father ever did for me growing up. They need to be chipping in and helping you get things moving with more ease than it is now. Set some goals/requirements, place some rewards for success to help motivate them (often rewards are every bit as good as punishment and will foster a better relationship without bitterness).
For yourself, stay on top of your legal responsibilities, get it done with and move on...what a weight to be lifted when you can truly leave it behind you. Keep clean by whatever means necessary and feel damn good for doing it! Its far too easy to fall back into a bad routine when stress is high. Know in your heart that there is a light at the end, and try to relax when you can in the hectic pace. Things will get better.